“Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to
start…”
I’m a product of the public school system. So is my husband.
Growing up I think I knew a total of 5 people personally who were home
schooled, and they were my cousins.
2002…When my husband and I were engaged he mentioned in some
way that he wanted me to homeschool. I’m not sure exactly how he said it. It
wasn’t an order, it wasn’t a must, I think it was just his preference that if
possible, he’d like me to. I immediately told him no-not-ever. Again, maybe not
in those exact words. But I definitely had no desire to ever do it.
2005…Fast forward a few years to kid #1. My decision at that
point changed a little, but not really. I said that I would only consider
homeschooling if we ended up in a church where we had a large homeschool
support system built in already. That was an easy answer, because at the time
we were at a very small church and my kids were pretty much the ONLY kids at
the church. I only had 1 friend who was a stay-at-home mom, and I DEFINITELY
didn’t know any homeschool moms! So this was my way of giving a hint of
consideration, but knowing that there was no chance it would happen.
2009…Now fast forward a few more years, I’ve got 2 kids,
we’ve moved to Birmingham, Alabama and go to a huge church. My oldest is
starting kindergarten. I still don’t know a single person who homeschools, so
that option is never even considered.
The next 4 years I meet a TON of people who homeschool. I
co-teach a 7th grade girls Sunday School class with a girl who told
me she was a sophomore, and I just assumed she meant in college. It was a few
months before I realized she meant she was a sophomore in high school. She is
one of the most spiritually mature girls I’ve ever met. Of course she’s
homeschooled. I continue to co-teach with her until she graduates high school.
I attended her high school graduation ceremony and was just moved by what a
sweet ceremony it was. Every dad spoke a testimony of their child. I totally
cried.
Friend after friend at my church homeschools. I think they
are all crazy. I tell them all, “I would LOVE to homeschool someone ELSE’S
children. There is no way I could spend all day with my kids and still be sane
at the end of the day.” But I honestly think the teaching part of it would be a
TON of fun! But still, it’s definitely not for me.
2013… A great friend starts praying about homeschooling her
preschooler who is in the same age as my #3 (did I mention I have 4 now?) and I
pray for her. We have lots of conversations about her concerns and fears and
worries and reasons why she wants to and feels called to. Another friend from
church has 2 children at the same public school as mine. My kids LOVE her kids.
Over Christmas she pulls them out to start homeschooling them (they are in 4th
and 2nd grades, my oldest are in 3rd and 1st).
I feel like it’s starting to surround me. But I never once am considering this
being an option for myself.
Spring Break 2014… Great week. We stay in town, go to Hobby
Lobby to get crafts, have lots of library days (the Hoover Public Library is
THE BEST!) and we have a GREAT week! Until Friday. That’s when my patience is
gone and I post the following on Facebook,
“Day 5 of Spring Break
(home alone with kids): confirmation of my decision NOT to homeschool my kids.”
And I love the fact that I get 30 “likes”.
I also want you to know that we LOVE our school!
We have had nothing but the BEST experience at Rocky Ridge Elementary. And we
are even super excited because one of the 4th grade teachers goes to
our church and we LOVE her and are really hoping that Will gets her next year
(did I mention she’s from Florida and is a Gator???).
Secret Church on Good Friday 2014… 6pm til 1am
spent worshipping and studying the word and praying for the persecuted church.
My favorite night of the year. I love every single topic we have done, some
more than others. This year is by far my favorite ever. So practical. So Convicting.
Session 3 starts. Topics include: Living Every Day to Love Your Neighbor as
Yourself, A husband’s daily approach to his wife…, A wife’s daily approach to
her husband…, A parent’s daily approach
to children…, A Christian’s daily approach to other Christians…, A Christian’s
daily approach to non-Christians…
I want you to know the topics so you know that
none of this is coming from some Homeschool seminar I went to and felt guilty
about and decided to do it. Not at all. I’m sitting there listening intently to
everything my pastor is saying. Taking great notes. And OUT OF NOWHERE I really
start feeling this pressing on me about homeschooling. I just don’t even know
how to explain it. I just felt this conversation going on between me and God
where it went something like… Me: But my kids are old and so used to being in
public school already! God: I am bigger than that. Me: But I can’t stand to be
with my kids alone for 1 hour, let alone all day with no break! God: With Me
you can. On and on. And I cried the whole time. For about 30-45 minutes it was
like this. As I continued to listen and take notes, I continued to wrestle with
this.
Bottom line is I was completely being convicted
of a lot of sin in my life that deals with selfishness. The #1 reason I have
never wanted to homeschool my children is because I want free time! I want to
be able to sit by myself and eat fast food while I’m watching NCIS. I want to
sit down and read a book. I want to crochet a baby blanket to help my friend
raise money for her adoption. I want to go to volunteer at church sorting
through pony beads to get the Salvation Bracelet supplies ready for Rock The
Block (our backyard bible clubs). I want to have time to unwind and play some
games on the computer (unfortunately that turns into way TOO MUCH time). Not
that any of this alone is bad, but when I get a little, I want a little more.
Then I want a little more. After months of this, when my kids get home from
school I’m too busy doing me stuff to be bothered by them. I get irritated at
them more quickly and I don’t understand why. They’ve only been home for 30
minutes, how can they drive me so crazy so quickly? And this has confirmed in me
the notion that there’s no way I could handle them all day long. And the
weirdest part is I have 4 AMAZING kids and I love them like crazy. But I love
them and spend time with them on my terms, not theirs.
Back to Secret Church. I’m crying and taking
notes, wrestling with God and taking some more notes. Break #3 and I head to
the restroom. On my way back to my seat, blocking the aisle in front of me (3
or 4 rows behind my seat), is a girl wearing a shirt that says, “Keep Calm and
Homeschool”. Are you kidding me? God
what is that about? I only saw that girl one time that night. No clue who she
was.
On the way home (sitting in the Taco Bell drive
through at 2am for 45 minutes) I tell Scott everything that happened. He’s so
confused. “But David didn’t even MENTION homeschooling ONCE! Where did this
come from?” Exactly. That’s why I know it’s kind of important. And not that I think this means we have to
homeschool now. I don’t know the answer to that yet. I am seriously praying
about it. But the thing is, up until now my husband and I have always told
people that we feel called to public school. We have access to so many kids and
their families that we never would have if we had been in private school or
homeschooling. And it’s totally true. We have a great ministry with our Yemeni
neighbors that I KNOW we wouldn’t have if not for our kids being in class and
riding the bus together. And right now my husband and I are very thankful for
those opportunities. And even though for years it was kind of always his
preference for me to homeschool, it really isn’t any more because of these
opportunities we have.
But even though I’ve always said we’re sending
our kids to public school because we feel called to that, I know that’s not
been the truth for me. I was just too selfish to consider the alternative. If
we choose to send our kids to public school next year, I want to honestly be
able to say that we’ve prayed about it extensively and feel that our ministry
is too great to give that up at this time.
Or I want to be able to say that God has called
us to homeschool during this next season. Maybe not forever, but at least for
now. My oldest 2 are completely on board, and #1 actually specifically prayed
for it during family worship last night.
So here we go. Praying like crazy. Research
beginning. No answers yet. We’ll see….!
